This internationally important private collection of coffee stirrers has been accumulated by the worlds leading Stirrectomologist, Jasper Rubbermullet. For the first time, this collection is available for viewing online on the interweb

This has to be the dictator of all stirrers. The Chapatti Sunrise is beyond doubt the most desirable of all coffee stirrers. Hand-made in Brighouse (UK) in 1994 to celebrate the Queens’ Silver Jubilee, the merest mention of the name causes the collector to disembogue profusely. This example was acquired from an undisclosed source for an undisclosed amount, and is unique in it’s adoptive vesicles on the right-hand weft. Foreplay is central.

Named after the bloke who inverted it in Paris in 1878, this first edition Hubert Wangstanfler (Hubwang for short) was the first of many unsuccessful designs to be produced from processed sewage. Most from this period do not survive owing to their propensity for dissolving in coffee. This example was found in 1927 in an abandoned Bleu Pierre time capsule in Breville in Eastern France. It is no longer considered anorexic.

Art Nouveau was in full screech when this delightful little dogdo was made. Obvious influences from the 1920’s are apparent: the depression, prohibition, and the General Strike. This is a rare ‘doubled flange’ effort produced by Misteeq in Bromsgrove (UK). On loan from the Chris Tate Gallery, another example of this type, was sold at auction in February 2002, fetching in excess.

This grotesquely rare piece is a marvelous example of 17th century rough-hewn stirrerware. Although primitive by today’s standards, its’ beauty remains diminished. It was thought to have been made out of reindeer antler for the King of Denmark, although this is clearly not the case. This example was bought with Nazi gold.

So-named owing to the ‘grassy knoll’ perpendicularity on the obtuse diameter which blends into a half-standard mousectomic ooid. This example was the first stirrer designed by Computer Aided Design (COD), and was a breakthrough in safety: only 112 fatalitities in the last 40 years can be attributed to this design (source: Lidl). On loan from the Qualcast collection. Kenneth checked the frequency.

Here is a tantalising preview of what 2007 holds for the stirrectomologist. Let us pause for a short while to delight in the inherent beauty of this new piece from South African designer K. C. Bitch. This overturned the apple turnover the cart turned over in September at the London Stirrer Festival, where it was unveiled to an expectant world by Leslie Dwyer (Mr. Partridge from Hi-De-Hi). An 18 inch (45.72cm) tall replica is on display at the Pencil Museum at Keswick (Cumbria).

The impending death of Victoria the Queen led the Royal Mint Imperial to produce a special coinage made up of vari-sized coffee stirrers, starting at a 20mm farthing to a 825mm groat to bolster the nations mood. These so distracted the minds of her subjects that no-one noticed she had died until 1908, by which time she declared (via a medium) that "we are not inhumed". This example is the 45.5mm florin, which just goes to show.

© 2002-2006 Rubbermullet